In case you haven't noticed (you must be living under a rock), it's been half a year since I've posted anything. Even my social media has been a bit quiet. Believe me when I say, it's intentional. 2018 started with business as usual, but with a different sense of overwhelm. I was working on my vision board, my yearly intentions and formulating my word of the year, but all of it felt forced. Written pages and meditation revealed the answer; I needed freedom. Both the idea of freedom and the the brightest shade of magenta kept showing up in my life in my meditations, daily life and even in my dreams. I knew I needed to dive head first into finding out what it meant for me.
The answer I found disappointed me. Freedom came down to giving up on trying to make this space something. To stop trying so hard to be the life coach that I thought everyone needed. I need to stop being a chameleon. Truth be told, I needed to be my own life coach. So I stopped coaching, stopped writing, stopped blogging, stopped putting any effort into it and spent my time just "being" in my life. And...I found freedom. In the stillness there was relief and time to explore what I really wanted, and how I want to show up in the world. Then excitement started showing up.
Now the itch is back, as per usual. I am craving writing, expressing, and chronicling my life in a creative way. Committing to an on-line presence seems to be cyclical for me and I always come back to it, but this time feels different. Historically I have tried to follow the advice and direction of other bloggers and coaches in the industry. If it works, don't fix it, just put your personal twist on the flow. Here in lies the problem. I get bored with the flow. Overwhelming thoughts of how in the heck am I going to make xyz happen like abc does attack my brain. You must be the same, only better would always end up being the driving force behind my ideas, and let's face it, that kind of work just oozes desperation.
Why am I still here?
Writing, sharing photos, talking about things that move and inspire me or even ideas I want you to learn (because I have gleaned something from them) is creative for me. It's an outlet. It feeds my soul. I am a light worker and the intention for my life is to share that light with others. I have just been going about it the wrong way (everyone else's way). Sometimes the answer is right there staring at you in the face, and you don't even see it. Yeah, that's me. I know I'm not the only one!
So my ah-ha moment is in the realization that yes I want to be present in this space, but following a formula or sticking to certain topics doesn't work for me. I don't want to be like everyone else, because I'm not everyone else. I want a creative outlet to chronicle my rich, abundant, wild (and sometimes messy) life that I hope will inspire and influence your own. I want a visual journal for my son to see a side of his momma that doesn't have anything to do with his world. I know I wish I knew my mother this way.
Change is brewing. I'm shifting from professional content to individuality. Less coachy, more personal although you will see it all. What am I going to talk about? Anything that is on my mind or happening in my life. There will be a common theme. Life is practice and I have to practice daily to live a rich, abundant and wild life. You will find that here; the journey. The struggles, the successes, or plain old gratitude. It may not always be pretty, but it will be my version. The real version without a veil of "should be" covering it. I hope you'll stick around because, you, know, life is better with a tribe.